The day is here! It’s officially almost Christmas and almost time to eat like you never get full and not feel guilty about it. But first the office secret santa! This common and frequently awkward tradition brings the team together to exchange lovely gifts before the holidays OR DOES IT?
The three possible reactions to pulling a name out for Secret Santa:— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) November 29, 2016
1. "Oh god no"
2. Oh, okay"
You anxiously wait for the name draw, inevitability the name of your office nemesis or someone you have never had eye contact with…
The names revealed! You either have ideas flowing or are trying to figure out who sits next to them so you can ask for suggestions. Or you’re frantically trying to swap yours as you’ve got the 1 in 50 people in the office you were trying to avoid.
This is my last year doing Secret Santa. Every year I get The Patriarchy. What do you get the guy that has everything?— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 29, 2015
The secret - Is it really secret?
Well if you are in the latter situation above, the secret is already no longer a secret and the person you asked for advice is probably going to give some silly suggestions.
However, if you know the person well and are deciding on a funny gift you will not be able to purchase it alone so there is someone else who knows.
If this was a TRUE Secret Santa exchange then the guy with nothing in his hands wouldn't be glaring at me.— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) December 8, 2012
Then you get the people you sit near teasing you day in day out about what they have told your secret santa to get you, Will it be chocolate? Will it be a lovely bath set? Of course not, it’s probably going to be the lamest gift from the joke shop or something highly offensive.
Can't tell if coworker wants to be friends or just drew my name for secret santa— Kristen Mortensen (@kris10mor10sen) December 14, 2016
Thoughtful or Adventurous?
If you get someone you hardly know the chances are unless you are a bad Santa you will get something nice and thoughtful. You put your private investigator head on and start finding out what they like to drink, eat, if they have any pets, what their fave colour is, if they could take banter well or be offended and never speak to you again. The list is endless.
If they can take banter well (or at least you think they can) here is a list of options:
The grand unveiling
All will be revealed who has good taste, whos funny, whos lazy and who has the Christmas shopping ability of my nan.
If you didn’t like Secret Santa in the first place, you’ll dislike the humiliation of having to open gifts one by one even more. Anticipating your turn to wait and see if your ‘jokes’ gift gets any real laughs or if you desperately missed the mark.
Me: Here's your Secret Santa gift.— Eyal (@EyalTweet) October 29, 2019
*CW opens gift. Snake bites her*
Me: Australian Death Adder. Guess who's not gonna steal my pens again.
Then there’s that one person that shows everyone up by exceeding the £20 limit buying a bespoke ‘notonthehighstreet’ gift… Meanwhile you open your gift from someone you’ve never spoken to and it’s a tutti frutti bath set you walked past the other day in Home Bargains that reminds you of being 12 but you have to smile through it “thanks my favourite!!!”